Look beneath the behaviour
Language difficulty can be mistaken for inattention or defiance
A young person may need extra time to work out what words mean, organise an answer or remember a spoken instruction. Their understanding can vary with stress, noise and how much language is used.
Make communication easier
- Use fewer words and give one step at a time.
- Pause long enough for the message to be processed.
- Show as well as tell, using a picture, gesture, example or written key word.
In the moment
Check understanding without putting them on the spot
- Say the important information first and remove unnecessary detail.
- Avoid repeating the same long sentence more loudly; rephrase it.
- Ask them to show you the first step rather than asking “Do you understand?”
- Allow alternatives to speaking, such as pointing, writing or choosing.
- Pre-teach unfamiliar words before a new topic or activity.
“The first step is your coat. I’ll wait. Then I’ll tell you the next step.”
Get joined-up support
Share what helps across home and school
Ask school what staff have noticed and how instructions, vocabulary and answers are supported. A speech and language therapist can assess language needs and advise on appropriate support.
Trusted information used for this guide
Reviewed 7 October 2026. This guide is not a diagnosis or a substitute for assessment.