ADHD support
Before calling a young person lazy, look for the barrier
Small changes that can make starting, organising and finishing tasks easier.
Read the ADHD guideHelp for parents and carers
A calmer way to work out what comes next
You do not need to have all the answers. Start with what you have noticed, what has changed and what your child may be trying to communicate.
Start with what fits
Six common pressure points
Open one topic at a time. You are looking for a useful first step—not a perfect answer.
01Behaviour that feels difficult
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Behaviour is often the part we can see. The reason behind it may be harder to spot.
- Describe what happened without labels such as ‘lazy’ or ‘naughty’.
- Notice what happened before and after the behaviour.
- Keep the boundary clear, but deal with the emotion first.
Try asking: ‘What was going on for you just before that happened?’
02Attendance and school avoidance
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Poor attendance is a warning light, not a full explanation. Find the barrier before choosing the response.
- Look for patterns: particular days, lessons, people or times.
- Contact school early and share facts rather than assumptions.
- Ask for one named adult and a clear, reviewed support plan.
Useful question: ‘What makes getting through the school gate hardest?’
03Wellbeing, friendships and change
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You do not have to fix everything in the first conversation. Feeling heard is a useful first step.
- Choose a calm moment and give your full attention.
- Listen before offering solutions or comparing experiences.
- Ask what would make tomorrow feel slightly easier.
Try saying: ‘I’m glad you told me. We can work out the next step together.’
04Preparing for a school meeting
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A focused meeting is more likely to end with practical action everyone understands.
- Write down your three main concerns and two recent examples.
- Ask what school has noticed and what has already been tried.
- Finish with named actions, who will do them and a review date.
Take notes and ask for the agreed plan in writing.
05Phones, gaming and online pressure
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Online life can affect sleep, friendships, confidence and behaviour without being the only cause.
- Stay curious about what they enjoy as well as what worries you.
- Agree boundaries when everyone is calm, not during an argument.
- Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight where possible.
Focus on safety, sleep and balance—not winning a battle over the phone.
06When your child will not talk
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Silence does not always mean nothing is wrong—and pushing harder can make a child retreat further.
- Offer low-pressure moments such as a walk or car journey.
- Use observations: ‘You seem quieter than usual.’
- Leave the door open and name another trusted adult they could choose.
Try saying: ‘You don’t have to talk now, but I’m ready when you are.’
This is general guidance, not a diagnosis. If you are worried a child may be at risk, use the safeguarding and urgent-help information.
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When a settled start begins to wobble
Notice the signs of a possible “September dip”, begin a calmer conversation and agree one manageable next step with your child and school.
More practical guidance
Five practical guides for parents and carers
Clear starting points for communication, additional needs, bullying and half-term wellbeing.
Developmental language disorder
Not rude. Not ignoring. They may be trying to understand
Practical communication support for developmental language disorder.
Read the DLD guideStammering support
Do not finish the sentence. Give them time
How to listen well and reduce pressure for a young person who stammers.
Read the stammering guideIdentity-based bullying
It is not ‘just banter’ when identity is targeted
How to notice, record and respond to identity-based bullying.
Read the bullying guideHalf-term wellbeing
Half-term is not always a break
Why some young people need recovery time—and how rest, predictability and gentle connection can help.
Read the half-term guideBullying support · Free record sheet
Believe them, record clearly and ask what happens next
Practical help to record incidents, preserve evidence, report concerns and agree action and a review with school.
Digital parenting · Step-by-step guide
Set up parental controls on an iPhone
Follow Apple’s current route for apps, websites, contacts, communication safety and screen-time routines—with help if your screen looks different.
Parent guide
When “I’m fine” feels different
Notice the little changes, begin without judgement and keep the door open when your teenager does not want to talk.
Detailed parent guide
When your child is avoiding school
Understand possible barriers, start a calmer conversation and work with school on a clear first plan.
Detailed parent guide
When your child is anxious
Notice possible signs, respond calmly and know when to involve school or seek professional help.
Need another route?
Find trusted wellbeing and safeguarding support
Optional further support for parents and carers
Mocks Without Meltdowns
Ten self-paced lessons and three printable resources to help with revision routines, exam pressure and difficult conversations. £19.99, one payment, no subscription. The Mock Revision & Wellbeing Pack is included.
Your free resources remain free. Read a genuine lesson extract and see a printable sample before deciding.