Believe first
The impact matters more than whether someone calls it a joke
Bullying can be physical, verbal, social or online. It may be repeated, or one serious incident can leave a young person frightened and unsafe. Targeting race, religion, disability, sexuality, gender identity or another protected characteristic needs particular care. Listen without blaming your child or asking them to minimise what happened.
Three first steps
- Say clearly that it is not their fault.
- Record the facts and keep safe evidence references. Follow the sexual-imagery exception below.
- Tell school and ask who will lead the response and when you will hear back.
Create a clear record
Write down facts while they are fresh
- Date, time, place and the exact words or actions.
- Names of those involved and anyone who witnessed it.
- For ordinary online bullying, keep relevant messages, URLs and account names. Do not copy sexual imagery of under-18s.
- How it affected safety, attendance, learning or wellbeing.
- Who you reported it to and what response was promised.
“I believe you. This is not your fault. We will decide the next step together.”
Free printable
Take a clear record into the school conversation
Use the record sheet for the facts, saved evidence, impact, action promised and review date. Keep it private and do not send identifiable information about a child to The Pastoral Hub.
Download the free bullying concern recordEscalate when needed
Ask for action, safety and a review
Report bullying to the school and ask for its behaviour and anti-bullying procedure. If you believe a crime may have happened, you can report hate crime online or through the police. Call 999 if someone is in immediate danger; otherwise use 101.
Read our safeguarding guidanceTrusted information used for this guide
Reviewed 2 November 2026. General guidance; it does not replace advice from school, police or a safeguarding professional.