Look beneath the behaviour
Anxiety does not always look anxious
A pupil may appear angry, avoidant, distracted, controlling or uncooperative when they are overwhelmed. Stay curious. Anxiety is one possible explanation—not a conclusion or a diagnosis.
In a difficult moment
- Lower the pressure: use a calm voice, fewer words and clear choices.
- Help the pupil regulate before expecting a detailed conversation.
- Agree the next manageable step and when you will check back.
Step 1
Notice signs and patterns
Look at what happens before, during and after the difficulty. Ask what is different on better days and whether the pattern is linked to particular people, places, lessons, demands or changes.
Step 2
Respond calmly in the moment
When anxiety is high, reasoning and long explanations are unlikely to help. Be steady, respectful and specific.
“I can see this feels difficult. You are safe with me. We do not have to solve everything now—let’s choose the next small step.”
Helpful
- reduce the audience and unnecessary demands
- offer two realistic choices
- allow processing time
- keep boundaries calm and predictable
Try to avoid
- “There is nothing to worry about”
- rapid questioning or public discussion
- threats while the pupil is overwhelmed
- automatically removing every difficult situation
Step 3
Talk when the pupil is calmer
Use short questions and give the pupil another way to communicate if talking is hard. Their account may be incomplete at first.
- What felt hardest just before things became too much?
- What did you notice in your body or thoughts?
- What helped—even slightly?
- Who or where feels safest in school?
- What would make the next attempt more manageable?
Step 4
Choose support that builds confidence
Useful support lowers unnecessary barriers while keeping a realistic route towards participation. Possible examples include:
Step 5
Write a simple support plan
Make these points clear
Share the essential parts with staff who need them, using your school’s recording and information-sharing procedures. Record what was tried and whether it helped.
Wider support
Involve family, SEND and health support
- Speak with parents or carers early and compare patterns across home and school.
- Involve the SENCO if SEND may be contributing or existing adjustments are not working.
- Do not wait for a diagnosis before making reasonable, needs-led changes the school can provide.
- Encourage the family to seek GP or other professional advice when anxiety is persistent, worsening or significantly affecting daily life.
- Use local referral routes and external services in line with your school’s procedures.
School staff can notice, listen, support and refer. They should not diagnose anxiety or recommend medical treatment.
Safeguarding and urgent concerns
Know when the response must change
If a pupil discloses or indicates abuse, neglect, exploitation, bullying, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or another safeguarding concern, follow your school’s child-protection procedures immediately and involve the designated safeguarding lead. Do not investigate or manage the concern alone.
- Immediate danger or a life-threatening emergency: call 999.
- Urgent mental-health help: follow your local crisis pathway, school procedure or NHS 111 guidance.
- Safeguarding concern: record accurately and report to the DSL without delay.
Guidance used for this page
Reviewed 7 September 2026. This is general guidance for school staff and does not replace your setting’s policies, safeguarding procedures or professional clinical advice.